The Gateway
by Blackrose0127
Summary: Lovino has a few ways to relieve stress, but how does his brother take it? Itacest, character death. I can add more to the ending, or a chapter involving the future of this one if requested enough.


**A/N: I know, I'm disappointed in me too. I need to update everything else, but don't fret! I am writing as we speak. Juan Diego is the name I gave Colombia, and David is the name I gave Vatican City. Enjoy~**

They call it a gateway drug for a reason, I suppose. Sitting inside my bathroom with the vents closed and the steam flowing freely makes getting high more discreet. Besides the smell, you wouldn't tell. Nobody knew. Well, that is until my brother found out. He took it well; didn't judge me or tell me to stop. He should have. After the movement against the mafia in Palermo and the murders of Falcone and Borsellino, I had a lot of baggage to carry concerning my boys and I. Of course, most of them crawled to their boss for help. Toni tried to accuse me of alcoholism after that, but I denied it. If I didn't drink, then my men and I wouldn't be standing, now would we? Liquid courage, right? Sometimes, I would visit Alfred on business trips, but really we would just hotbox his old Chevy pickup. Now, Alfred is…influential. Juan Diego would 'stop by' from time to time, giving "gifts" to Alfred. Floating in the clouds makes me mellower, so of course I would say yes to a line or two. That opened me up to a wave of substances that I've never tried before. I wouldn't say I'm a junkie; I'm not addicted to anything. However, if I told anybody how much I used, including my brother, then an intervention would be in full swing.

Lately, Antonio has been making weird comments to me. _Lovi, you're getting awfully thin._ Or _Lovino, what happened to_ _your beautiful, olive skin tone? _ He's such an oblivious bastard that he would never figure it out. Now, here's the kicker. Three months ago I got shot. Some asswipe in Naples decided to pull a gun on me. Two bullets right in the shoulder. So, as of late, I've been dipping into the bottle of pain pills my doctor prescribed me. Remember how I said I got shot three months ago? Well, when it happened, my brother was my little housewife. He did the cooking, the cleaning, and my laundry. It's the only time I felt that somebody other than Antonio cared for me.

Now, I can fend for myself. The problem is that I grew feelings for my brother. Feelings that an older brother shouldn't feel for his younger brother. Feelings that David would disgrace and shun with every fiber of his being. One day, I took a few more pills than I was supposed to…"accidentally." As I was floating through an ocean of colors, I sort of told my brother that I wanted to make a pizza shaped like his anatomy to represent the birth of our love. Damn. He blushed, nervously said "That's great, fratello.", and awkwardly walked down the stairs to make dinner. I laid there, basking in the bliss of a "job well done."

Then, I came down from my high, and realized that I had to apologize to him while denying my affection. I got down the stairs and walked into an eerily quiet house. I checked the kitchen, the bathroom, his bedroom, but I couldn't find him for the life of me. I slumped onto the couch, filing through my muddled, after-hazed thoughts. My phone vibrated, and I flipped it open.

_Fratello, I care too much about you to watch you put yourself through such abuse. I tried to tell Antonio, but he wouldn't believe me. With all this pressure about our economy and Ludwig ignoring me after the war, I just want to end it. I just want everyone to be happy, and maybe getting rid of the problem will help. Ti amo, fratello. I'll tell Grandpa Rome you said Ciao. _

I slowly closed my phone, a mixture of emotions bubbling in my stomach. I chucked the phone across the room, my eyes watering. I stood up abruptly, swaying slightly when a pang ran through my heart, lingering for a few seconds before fading away. I felt like something was missing in me. I stood there for a few seconds before breaking into a full sprint out the back door. It's upsetting that I know the place where my brother would want to take his own life. As I was running, my chest tightened and I could faintly feel Feliciano's heartbeat. Either he was fighting for his life, or his heart just won't give up. I just hope it keeps beating long enough for me to say goodbye. I ran up to the old willow tree in our orchard. I wanted to cut it down, but Feliciano insisted that we keep it. Ever since he moved here, he's had a weird fascination with that tree.

I walked up to the tree. One side was tainted slightly red, like somebody spilled red paint, then decided to clean it up. Even though my heart was racing, I could feel my brother's heart struggling to keep going. Every so often, it would quiver slightly before stopping altogether. I walked around the tree, looking for his body. I looked up onto the low branches, even though I know he would never hang himself. After rounding the tree again, I saw a gold cross necklace dangling from a small branch. I jumped up and pulled on it, shaking the tree slightly. A small gasp and a groan rang from the tree. I looked up farther and finally saw my brother. He was sprawled, back up, on a large branch. He was bleeding from his leg; he was deathly pale and his eyes were dulling. He looked down to me, tears slipping down his face silently.

"I didn't want you to see me like this. I was supposed to suffer, so everyone could be happy."

"I wouldn't be happy, Veneciano. You can't leave me here. Without you, I'll probably get pissed at someone and overdose on some shitty, cheap drug that I spent fifty bucks for fro some asshole at a back alley dumpster." I leapt onto the nearest branch, swinging slightly. I sat on the branch underneath my brother.

"I sliced my femoral artery, then I climbed onto this branch, but" He pulled a ring of off his finger. "I remembered that you gave me this ring on the day of out unification. 'Unificato per sempre' remember?" He gave a watery smile, his tears falling faster. I took the ring from his hand, his wet tears sliding from his hand into mine. My eyes burned from the wind blowing into my tears.

"I tried to stop the bleeding with a sheet of cloth, but it's not working." He took a shallow breath. "I'm sorry, fratello." A sniffle. "I just wanted you to be proud of me." His voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes growing duller. A few tears trickled down my cheeks as I took his necklace and slid his ring with my ring onto it. I clasped the necklace around my neck, and took his hand.

"I am proud of you, Feliciano. I've just never told you." His expression was emotionless, but he was still breathing. I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly.

"Ti amo, fratello." I mouthed against his lips. As I pulled away, he breathed out a laugh. "What?"

"I never thought I'd be a virgin when I died." I couldn't laugh. His grip on my hand loosened significantly. I gazed into his eyes. The spark was gone.

"Ti amo, Lovino." He let go of my hand, his fingers going slack. I wiped his tears, then mine. Balancing my feet on the branch I was sitting on, I lifted my brother's body out of the tree. I dug a hole at the bottom of the tree, near the roots. Setting his body in it, a few of my tears made wet spots in the soil. I'll get him some flowers tomorrow. Looking up into the sky, I smiled.

"See you soon, Feli."

Looking up through the flames, Feliciano placed his hand over his heart, and with the other, he wiped his tears.

"I'll be waiting, fratello." He whispered.


End file.
